My husband was in an accident that caused his TBI several years ago. Since his injury, I have argued more with guilt than ever before in my life. I walk through "mom guilt," thinking I'm spending too much time paying attention to my husband instead of my children. My company provides "work guilt" when I have to travel, which requires my husband to rely on himself more often. I have "me guilt," where I don't/can't take the time to exercise/relax/get a haircut because I feel guilty for not being available for my husband and family.
Don't get me wrong: I've always owned a certain amount of responsibility for things over which I have no control! When I was a single mom of four children, I had the "my kids aren't dressed as well as the other kids" guilt. That morphed into their food and friend choices, which led to their college selections (to go or not to go). These days, I feel like everything that goes awry is my fault; however, this blame game is my own doing. Maybe it's because I seldom feel in control of my life and the events in and around it, or maybe because I wish things could be different.
Every day, I meet or hear about people living normal lives and doing all the right things when something happens to change the course of their journey. Suddenly faced with confusion and many questions, they reach out to those around them for guidance, comfort, and compassion to put all the pieces of their puzzling situation back together.
Even the simple concept of this type of giving can turn into guilt for me. Feeling the need to fix the world can be overwhelming and quickly turn into more than I can handle. My husband (frequently) says, "Guilt is overrated." I will work on letting go and accepting a little more of those things that are out of my control.
Do you ever struggle with things that are out of your control?
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